Life Update: Birthday

So I turned 22 last week.Yup, I'm an old fogy.

As far as previous birthdays go, I think this time around was swell. I had dinner with my mom's family and another with my dad's. I even got to blow out candles and wish to be straight. No joke, when it came time that's the first thing that popped into my head. I know it's a waste of a wish, there's no changing that part of me nor should I want that. As the better choice, I wished that I could accept myself and be confident of who I am.

[inhale] I didn't expect to tell you that. That might be the deepest thing I've written thus far. Yay me!

What I did want to say is that I think people like their birthdays because it's one of the few days that people close to you are willing to dedicate solely to you...most of the time. I sure felt like a happy camper knowing that so many people took a few seconds out of their day, at the least, to think of me. That's one of the reasons that I love having penpals through snail mail. I know that other person is taking more than a few seconds to write to me and it's solidified on paper.

I'm not going to be cheesy and say that I'm sending my thoughts out to you, because I don't know who you are. However, give me the opportunity to find out something about you via comments or whatever and I'll happily wish you well.

Speaking of which, there is a Katie Herzig concert April 2nd that I'm excited to go to! Just thought I randomly say that.

Check it out, yo! -- Thoughts

This won't be my typical review (if that), I'm writing directly onto here.

Plot: There's a pretty good recap on asianwiki if you want to know exactly what happened.The gist of it, there is a group of high school students, three boys and one girl, that try to form a rap band. Throughout they realize that they will eventually grow apart. It's sort of a coming to age film.

I watched this sometime last semester and hardly remember a thing. So, why am I writing about it? There was one exchange of words that stuck with me, occasionally playing in my head. Two of the boys are watching the girl and the boy swimming.

"They get along so well."
"'Getting along is so beautiful.'"
"Let's join them."
"Why?"
"'Cause the sky is blue!"
"What the heck!"



The boy makes a break for the water and the other follows.

What I like most about the scene is that it reminded me that there doesn't always need to be a logical reason for doing something. It's okay to justify something on the sky being blue, the grass being green, it doesn't matter. Ultimately life is life.

Let me know if you like to keep the same mindset.
-Alyssa

Identity

   Having a general idea of what I want to write is bad sometimes. I feel like I’m back in high school taking standardized tests with a prompt and 2 hours to write, which explains why I haven’t actually sat down to flesh out my ideas on the subject of identity.

   First, when we are talking about identity, it could be in terms of sexuality or what makes you up as a person. In either case I agree that it is possible to identify with multiple things.

   Let’s discuss personality first. Practically everyone with an internet connection has read/seen something that brings up identity not being black and white. You can be funny and angry, sad and happy. This isn’t a book with someone on the outside holding all the answers. Often times you don’t even know what you’re feeling. Past emotions we can look at hobbies, maybe you like to cook and play football, do math and be a cheerleader. There isn’t a set rulebook telling us that it is impossible to do both, though some people may argue otherwise.

   With that thought out of the way, on to sexuality. Since freshman year of college (maybe earlier) I’ve been trying to figure out exactly what I identify with. Am I straight? Am I a lesbian? Do (can) I like both sexes? I even thought to make a tally of which sex I preferred in hopes to add up the columns and be done with it. I never did. I was too scared to have it found and realized that it’s impossible to quantify feelings. Yes, there’s the Kinsey scale (which I learned about last year), but that’s just a tool in demonstrating the fluidity of sexuality.

   I still don’t know without a doubt where I stand. Right now I’m good with bisexual and honestly I’m too afraid to really own it in fear that that might change. There will always be people waiting to tell me I told you so, whether it is from the queer community, homophobic people, or my own family. I do know, that just like love isn’t something that can be pinpointed to an exact moment, figuring out who we are and being ready to share that isn’t always “I knew it since two years ago, Tuesday”.  

   I’m really anxious for others to learn, just as I am, that there might not be an absolute answer. Being me is good. If you can identify in other ways cool, at the end of the day it’s just adjective with definition that varies from person to person.

Self-Portrait

I did this a few months back with every intention of making a decent self-portrait. Things went awry and I ended up with this. All weirdness included, I like it.

It's almost as bad as the one I made in high school...

Yeah, this will be an interesting year.

The Person Behind The Blog

I was going to write an "epic" final statement on the year until I remembered I made a video going over my resolutions. I didn't think I'd ever show you my face, but there it is. My biggest goal for the year (and life), though it didn't make the list, was to be more daring. So here I am, taking that leap.

Projects: 
-started a story about a bisexual girl who gets pulled into a band
-made an Etsy shop
-blogs: WithoutaHead
-vlogs
-tumblr accounts: FirstPost, SlicedChestnut
-15 slides or less project: Werewolf Boy
-filmed a silly movie : Captain Christmas 

Places Visited:
-Spain
-Paris, France
-Dallas
-Las Vegas

Breaking Comfort:
-skydived
-went to Spain and made friends
-LGBTQA meetings
-clubbing
-small talk (it had to be done)

Other Stuff:
I'm surprised to say this blog wasn't a goal, but keeping up with it and gathering an all time high of 3 comments is achievement worthy. If this didn't exist my creativity outlets would be zero. I wouldn't have written about Dream High 2, come out to the cyberspace, or been humbled in knowing that there might not be one person reading this.
I've come to love this place and hope I'll double the number of posts by the end of next year.

Overall:
I think it was a good year, I want to do more this year and then more the next and more and more and more. Cyberspace, how was your year?

Who's That South Korean Idol?

Not sure if "idol" is the correct term. I made this a few years back with the intention of making a game where the readers would try to guess who the person was given clues and the above picture. Doubt anyone will actually comment. If you do and get it right, I'll give you a mystery prize! *Oooh! Ahhh!*

Based on a quick web search, here are the facts.

1. Born in 1993
2. Debuted in 2008
3. Blood Type A
4. Used to lie to her dad, telling him that she lost her money to get more.
5. Auditioned 20 times
6. Wanted to become a singer since 7th grade
7. Dabbles in acting

Going Backwards

Just when I said that this place would be my everything blog, where I talk about whatever, I make a new one within a week; my bad. The thing is that I'm applying to graduate school for a Master of Science in Visualization and it was recommended that I have a blog of some sort. While I do have this one, I did not believe it was a good reflection on my artwork or refined enough to show to professionals. This place is where I spitball things, to get it out of my head. It's for me, not the pretty version that I'm trying to, in some ways, sell.

I'll go ahead and put the link here in case somebody actually wants to see what I create.

Without A Head 

Hopefully this will be the last social media account that I create...well, here's to hoping.